Chuck Norris vs. The End of the World: Keeping the Apocalypse on Hold
What happens when the apocalypse knocks? It gets roundhouse kicked back to where it came from! Chuck Norris isn’t just a legend—he’s the only reason the world still spins. From stopping meteors mid-air to making doomsday tremble, here’s how Chuck Norris keeps the end of the world permanently postponed.
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Video Transcript
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The world was supposed to end in 2012, but Chuck Norris simply wasn’t ready.
The Mayan calendar didn’t predict doomsday—it predicted the day Chuck decided to reset civilization’s countdown.
When asteroids approach, they change course out of respect.
When black holes form, they reconsider.
The apocalypse isn’t late; it’s just waiting for Chuck’s permission to happen.
Zombies?
They don’t rise when Chuck Norris is around.
The undead know better than to test his roundhouse kick.
Every time a virus threatens humanity, it mysteriously disappears overnight.
Scientists call it a miracle—Chuck calls it Tuesday.
The only outbreak that ever stood a chance was fear itself, and even that learned to stay six
feet away from him.
Aliens have tried invading Earth, but they always leave immediately.
Their advanced technology detects one thing: Chuck Norris.
No intergalactic warlord wants to risk a roundhouse kick that defies physics.
UFOs don’t crash—they eject themselves from our atmosphere in sheer panic.
The real reason we haven’t made contact?
They’re too scared to answer our calls.
The sun was once going to explode, but Chuck Norris stared at it until it changed its mind.
Supervolcanoes?
They stay dormant out of respect.
The laws of physics don’t apply to him—he rewrites them.
The apocalypse isn’t a threat; it’s a myth.
As long as Chuck Norris walks the Earth, the end of the world remains permanently postponed.
