Uncle Cletus’ Homemade Jet Ski | Redneck Science in Action

Now, Uncle Cletus has a gift for takin’ perfectly good ideas and ruinin’ ‘em with confidence.

He got it in his head that he could build his own jet ski.

Said he’d “seen it on YouTube,” which, in our family, is basically a death sentence.

He rolls out an old beer cooler, a leaf blower, two pool noodles, and says, “Earl, by sundown

we’ll be ridin’ waves like Floridians.” We haul it down to Dogwood Creek, which is about knee-deep and

smells like regret.

Cletus straps on a life jacket from 1987, duct-tapes the leaf blower to the cooler, and announces, “Gentlemen,

witness innovation!” He fires that thing up—vroooom—and for half a glorious second, it works.

Water sprays, ducks scatter, and Cletus yells, “I’m doin’ it!” Then the duct tape melts, the leaf blower

sputters, and the whole contraption flips like a cheap pancake.

He disappears underwater, comes up lookin’ like a drowned raccoon with pond weed in his teeth.

“Needs more horsepower,” he says, coughin’ up mud.

I said, “No, it needs supervision.” Sheriff rolls by on patrol, leans out his window, and says, “Y’all

conductin’ experiments again?” Cletus grins.

“Just field testin’ aquatic concepts.” Sheriff sighs.

“Well, tell your concept it’s trespassin’ on county property.” By the time we drag him out, the cooler’s

sunk, the leaf blower’s smokin’, and we’re banned from the creek ‘til further notice.

If that sounds like a fun weekend, share this with someone who’s got more tools than sense.