Cousin Bobby’s Pepper Challenge | One Bite from the Afterlife

Now, Cousin Bobby’s got this habit of challengin’ himself to stuff no one else would ever wanna win.

Last week it was arm-wrestlin’ a lawn gnome.

This week—peppers.

He saw one of them “Carolina Reaper Challenge” videos online and said, “Shoot, that don’t look so bad.”

I told him, “Bobby, those peppers make grown men see Jesus and beg for milk.” He grinned, “Then

I’ll meet Him spicy.” He lined up three peppers on Mama Jean’s counter like he was hostin’ his

own cooking show.

“All natural heat,” he said, sniffin’ one like a fine wine.

First bite, he blinked twice.

Second bite, he hiccupped so hard the dog hid under the table.

Third bite—he made a sound that could summon emergency services.

His face turned colors Crayola ain’t invented.

Steam’s pourin’ from his ears, eyes waterin’ like he’s confessin’ every sin he ever committed.

He runs to the fridge, grabs the milk jug, chugs the whole thing, then realizes it expired last

Tuesday.

Next thing I know, he’s staggerin’ around yellin’, “I can taste time!” while Mama Jean’s fannin’ him with

the church bulletin.

Sheriff shows up after somebody reports “an exorcism in progress.” He takes one look and says, “Bobby, this

an emergency or a lifestyle?” By sundown, Bobby’s tongue still numb and his pride fully cooked.

If this story burns just readin’ it, share it with that one cousin who thinks “mild” is for

cowards.